Essence of a thought

I would have never resorted to start off like this or perhaps would have ever want to make a strong impression of my ‘being’ to the outer world. Why in the first place, am I to represent what I am or what I am not as a person and document my thoughts, beliefs and views and make this as a point for public consumption!?! Though I don’t expect anybody to digest whatever I write ....anyways for one reason, I intensely feel that writing and expressing has to come out with an ease ...without any effort... and one has to give it all while doing so... just like a newborn’s first cry as it comes out from a womb....which is one of the most eagerly anticipated events. Just like that and as natural.... as it knows that its incredible sojourn inside the womb comes to an end another journey begins – the journey of life.

To peek into someone else’s personal diaries is always a temptation hard to resist but somehow reading blogs have never been my forte.

Expressions for me are manifestations of the self, unadulterated and untouched by pretences, mirroring the innermost thoughts and echoing the deepest feelings where in one could depict oneself in a form closest to the heart, painting emotions of the soul in a language spelt by words. Like they always say watch your thoughts; they become words, watch your words; they become actions, watch your actions; they become habits, watch your habits; they become character and watch your character; they become your destiny. I don’t know where I was destined to.

A ‘thought’ at prima facie is nothing but a piece of heart - a casket full of emotions and feelings which has no decipherable beginning and no tangible end, yet holds in its ambit a whole world of nuances and a gamut of emotions and makes it a more meaningful sally into this wide world and the world beyond!

Anyways what makes me write a ‘Blog’ still remains to be answered. It was a very casual and subtle suggestion from Sush that I could try my hand at posting a blog...to which I antagonistically reacted on the face…(Never mind on that part)

This very thing of writing a blog never abandoned my thought till late in the evening and then later I found myself thrown and literally preoccupied with lots of queries…answers to which were far off reaching me. Suddenly nothing seemed to be palpable. Questions like…What did I ever wanted to write upon… What could be the possibilities of my writing good….Who’s gonna read me anyways…Why the hell have a public outcry of your thoughts, views, opinions or beliefs...What’s on my mind at the very moment...Was I suddenly watching my thought… Was I suddenly in control of the thinking process going on within me...Lots of queries to which the only solution was the impetus to just start off haphazardly indulging into doing things I have never done before...Give yourself a break!!...Write a BLOG.

Now what do I write upon...Any writer who writes knows that inspiration is a fleeting thing. To make sure that any ‘perfect’ feeling or idea or word doesn’t get lost and washed forever we often grab the nearest scrap of paper and scribble down our thought. Its real tempting to say, “Well this is what I was feeling, so this is what I wrote.” Its not that I never wrote before but now as I write, these thoughts just come to me that “I cant change what I was feeling.” Of course feelings are not revisable but the words with which we choose to express those most personal thoughts and emotions are. When the inspiration of writing hits you ( as I eventually got hit by Sushant) I probably not only scrambled for the piece of paper but I scrambled for the easiest words possible and gave a long long thought on what could be the possible subject of honors on which I could put my grey cells to work or for that matter even stretch my imagination. Here perhaps I have to admit that I suddenly found myself browsing into a world of quick flashback in an ardent quest to find the reminiscences which could be transformed from just being there as a part of my memoir to be able to take up a writable and expressible form....phew!! the end of which left me utterly bewildered. Perhaps, as a person I was never meant to write…perhaps one needs to have very strong senses ....the sixth being stronger so that one could feel strongly about things and fashion one’s thoughts into words and be able to write something sensible.

Writing mails was easier and a let-go process...writing an informal journal on our thoughts, views, and philosophical reflections is something different I must say.

Damn… Don’t I have a single issue or topic on which I could put forth my experiences and views on……There is definitely some mystery in the process of thinking…..Thoughts startle you at times!
I then thought of a very simple feeling...a feeling I usually get when I see a bird flying... It glides with such a natural ease and effortless elegance in the wide open limitless unfathomable sky, that sometimes leaves me wondering what if I could also fly like birds...the thought teased me to ponder that if I had the ability to change into another animal, something other than a human being I would be a bird simply because of the incredible wonder of flight on a sunny day. Whoa what a triumph!!... Toast to ‘an essence of a thought’ ...this was a good thought which I tumbled upon and a writable one too.

Even though I haven’t written on anything concrete...I know one thing for sure that I have made a humble beginning. Don’t you blame for this absurdity of mine if I have you bumped into my kind a Odyssey... well just say hello and pass by! That’s what the blogs are meant to be I guess...Again I’m not sure....If it aint for anybody else ...it will nevertheless stupefy Sush...that I’m definitely sure of!

You see things; and you say "Why?" But I dream things that never were; and I say "Why not?"
George Bernard Shaw

-Manasi