A good for nothing day!

Wednesday, Oct 24th, 2007, I supposedly was having my final round of interview… For the first time I was in my brand new formal attire to strike that corporate statement.

It did not neways go as per my expectations…and I blame myself for not being in the right frame of mind. Never mind! I reassured myself …. That’s besides the point… And now I feel so hopeless and restless as if the entire world has doomed over me. It has started this bad… and what’s it that’s gonna be still worse than this…

I feel so lost and confused…lost why, coz I lost my cell phone right after that….I just cant explain how hopeless a feeling that I’m dwelling in right now …. Oh God!! Its such a terrible and dirty feeling to lose something! Its really been a while that I lost something mine. I cannot even call myself being careless….but then I just behaved like one careless woman who was so engrossed in arguing over the appropriate auto fare that I was never aware of getting out of that auto having left my mobile behind. How did I do it ….I cursed myself!! Aah… t’was so very irritating when I had already reached the 11th floor to my office after clearing the security check, signing in for the day and then realize about the missing phone and again take an elevator down and go all the way and search in vain for the phone where I got down from the auto. I knew there wasn’t any slightest chance of finding it.

Should I blame it on my stars who didn’t play it up well for me today… Very mean that’s exactly what they have been…. responsible for this uneasy, sunken, good for nothing kinda state that I am in right now…..

I should definitely blame it on my little hand bag which has million things and all of them shouting ….very important. I wished it was a little bigger than it is ….so that I didn’t have to fidget each time to remove something out of it and put that back into it. I remember having fiddled with my goggle case in one hand and then trying to mange a file and the cell phone in the other, at the same time even arguing with the auto fellow for the shooted up meter and also trying to sort out the auto fare from a wallet ….all in a matter of two minutes…..

Things cannot change now… I am here all so pissed off with what happened….a not so impressive interview, losing my phone…..basically angry and hurt at the same time … don’t even know whether I should laugh or cry at my state…. as I have not even started working so far… whatever took place in the morning keeps playing again and again…. without my even trying to rewind the scenario…I have no clue as to why I ain’t getting over it as yet. I keep recalling…. the auto went…and went with it my old dear mobile with all my phone numbers….lovely stored messages…my favorite ring tones…. my memories! I wish I got my mobile back. Damn day! I don’t even look forward to know what’s in store for me in the rest of the day. I hope to go home as early as I can …. I want to unwind this whole thing by sleeping over it and hope to be cheerful and happy tomorrow.

Manasi